Contributed by: Lisa Stewart
Digital Art Teacher
Explorer Middle School
I haven’t always been a teacher. Once upon a time I was an elementary/middle school student, and I remember vividly the days of being bullied.
There was no “coolness” factor for me in the first eight years of school, and it comes as no surprise, that I was bullied. I was that odd kid, and having older, strict parents made me even odder. Being chubby, I received chants of “fatty, fatty”, having glasses, which at that time was NOT cool, I heard four eyes, having to wear hand me down clothes got me teased as well. Then, there was the fact I was not athletic, and was not necessarily pretty, as compared to the popular girls, I was nerdy, studious, a good girl and the list goes on and on.
What was not known was how these remarks affected me. Though I had some very good friends, the shame of not being good enough plagued me. I tried diet after diet to lose some of the weight, tried to fit in best I could with the clothes and trends that were popular, but it just wasn’t who I was, and so, I spent a lot of alone time. Now, don’t feel sorry for me. That alone time helped me to discover who I was, and when I started high school, life became better in the bullying department. For me, the adversity of being bullied made me a stronger, wiser person. Sadly, for many, bullying steals their life, sometimes literally.
Those events happened over forty years ago, and I remember them to this day. The pain is gone, and has been replaced with an understanding of human behavior and a desire to help students celebrate their uniqueness.
Times have changed, and with that change has come a change in HOW students are bullied. Whereas, I had to deal with the bully in the school setting, once I left school it was over, till the next day.
Sadly, our students now have to deal with bullying 24/7 and in a much bigger arena. Technology is a curse and a blessing, a double- edged sword in a battle to stop bullying. With the invention of computers, smart phones, and social media, our students are immersed in a culture of secreted, cruel bullying. Now, bullying is not just taunts and teases, but inappropriate pictures posted to social media, constant threats and taunts to cell phones, computers, and social media everyday-all day. Bullying is not just a small group, but also a much larger group of individuals who hide their cruelness. The pack mentality allows students to not fear getting caught. Technology has opened up the door of not having to face your victim, not having to see their pain or anger that your behavior caused. It has disconnected us from people as much as it has connected us.
As a teacher of middle school students, I see the effects of bullying with the students who are being cyber bullied and don’t want to come to school; the students being snickered at when they talk in class. I see students being left out of fun activities by the people they call their friends. I see students taking part in behaviors they normally wouldn’t do, just to feel like they belong to the group. Middle school peer pressure is tough. It’s like being singled out in a group of 500 kids with the spotlight on YOU and your decision will determine if you are” cool” or not. What middle-school student doesn’t want to at least appear “cool”?
Enter—www.should—an anti-bullying program at Explorer Middle School. WWW.Should is one of many tools teachers and staff use as a resource in helping to stop bullying before it begins. Lessons are designed with the student in mind with video clips, hands on activities, and group discussions. Teachers guide students to understanding their position in the circle. Are you the bully, the bystanders, the victim, the on-looker who is doing nothing? Or, are you the student who steps forward to get an adult involved. Lessons help students understand how to make wise choices, and how words can be hurtful.
As parents, educators, and members of society we can teach our children that it is not okay to make fun of others. It is not okay to intimidate someone else. It is not okay to threaten, post inappropriate pictures, spread rumors, or lie about someone. Middle school bullies grow up to be adult bullies. These are not just “boy” or “girl” behaviors. They are behaviors that are costing our children their very lives.
